by Stoker
Ms Harris having, somewhat disappointingly, failed to lead a march of angry Bidenites (Joeists?) to storm the Capitol, it looks as though the inauguration of President Trump Two, the 47th President of the United States, will be comfortingly normal. To digress – where is Kamala? Anybody seen her since those extraordinary days of early November? Let’s face it, she is still in remunerated employment until 20th January, when she must pass over to JD Vance the keys to the Vice-Presidential office, the executive washroom, and the private family rooms, all in Number One Observatory Circle. (The Veep does not, as many Americans think, have a little apartment in the White House. Since 1974 they have been entitled to reside at Number One, and most have done so, and their office and those of their support staff are mostly there or close by).
Anyway, Harris is history, Trump is triumphant, and Biden is back to Delaware. Joe has marked up a little record all of his own in recent presidential history by pardoning, commuting, or forgiving over eight thousand convicted prisoners. This comes close to a record for Presidential clemency and even exceeds Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Abraham Lincoln, and forgave amongst many thousands, three conspirators who intended to assassinate Lincoln, had not John Wilkes Booth done the job first. Biden though did forgive his own son, Hunter Biden, of gun and tax offences, having on several occasions said that he would not do so as “nobody is above the law”. Circumstances alter cases, we guess. And it establishes a useful precedent for President Trump to forgive himself, should such a contingency become necessary, however unlikely that might seem. The record holder in forgiveness though is the recently deceased Jimmy Carter, who forgave over two hundred thousand Vietnam draft dodgers. Refusing to fight for your country seems to be a form of saintliness in Georgia, though a bit rough on those who did join up and were injured or died in service of their country.
So, in a few days it is back to the future for Mr Trump, who has changed a little. Not just his hair, which has gone from orange to a rather fetching grey/blond, but in his rhetoric, which has calmed considerably since his electoral victory. The Donald almost seems moderate in many recent utterances, especially on immigration and unity of purpose.
Our revered editor pointed out to us scribblers that he, Mr Trump we mean, not our editor who has no territorial aspirations, had made various inflammatory remarks about Greenland, which he has offered to buy from Denmark, about Canada, to which he has offered full American statehood (Her late Majesty Elizabeth II would have had something to say about that), and about Panama, from whom he wishes to buy back the Panama Canal – sold to the Republic of Panama for the remarkable sum of US$1 (yes, one dollar) by none other than Jimmy Carter. This is maybe mostly Trumpian mischief- making, especially with the stepping down of Prime Minister Trudeau early last week, and Panama’s attempts to force up transit fees in the canal, which is suffering increasing costs and falling revenues with intense competition from cross-continental American railroads. Greenland is a slightly different case; there is a growing movement to achieve independence from Denmark, with which she forms a “commonwealth”, as do the Faroe Isles. However Greenland is unlikely to be able to stand economically alone, and American politicians, not just Mr T, are nervous about possible friendly overtures from China and Russia.
The other strange feature of these transitory January days is the remarkable misunderstanding that has come to light over the political leanings of the social media industry. Most remarkable is Mr Musk, but we will come back to him. Also active with the fancy footwork is the senior management of what you probably think of as Facebook, but actually is really Mr Zuckerberg’s empire, Meta. Not only Facebook, only used by the over-sixties now, but also Instagram, where you display your sweetest photographs, and WhatsApp, where you express your most secret stratagems and private prognostications (heavily coded and inaccessible to all agencies of government; though, have you ever considered, perhaps not to Mr Zuckerberg himself?).
Be that as it may, Mr Z has suddenly realised that some commentators think that Meta has been left-leaning in its sympathies, and rather keen to push Democrat and anti-populist causes. Not at all, says Mark. Out as head of anti-nastiness and Far Right subjection has gone Nick Clegg, a wet leftie liberal, and in comes Joel Kaplan, a rather tough Republican semi-grandee. That will sort out the balance issues; rest assured that there will be no political bias anywhere in the Meta group. Photos of Melania Trump hugging kittens gratefully received.
No doubt Mark Zuckerberg was watching the remarkable political transformation of Elon Musk, electric car maker extraordinaire, owner of “X”, and space entrepreneur. Mr Musk was until recently allegedly a registered and enthusiastic Democrat supporter, but again we seem to have been misinformed. In truth, he was all the time hoping for a Republican revival and the return of The Donald. Now his wish has been granted, and he has been gratefully taking the credit for Donald’s great victory; though it is not clear that Donald is giving him that much credit, or that “X” was that significant in swaying voter intentions. He will soon be starting work to reduce the size of America’s vast and enormously expensive governmental bureaucracy and in his evenings and weekends picking fights with the British, French, German, and Canadian governments, and indeed Nigel Farage, leader of the UK's Reform Party (we are not complaining, we just wonder how he finds the time). Reducing Federal spend should be the easy bit, at least to start with, though as Donald carries through on his pledge to “drill, baby, drill” and the American petrol-engined car industry rapidly revives, Mr Musk may need to spend a lot more time on his Tesla car business, already seeing a rapid fall in sales.
It's going to be a busy and exciting year!
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